I fail every test

running so fast

I know where to go

and I know how to do it

I think the universe should grant me one wish

I think the universe should let me have one thing

no wait, two things

I want to be beautiful, for once

just this once!

and I want to fix everything

I don’t know if there are miles

but I think there are lifetimes

ones where I go pro

and I can catch you

or at least

catch up into you

I read this so many times I think it’s bad

I see me so many times I’m not even there

I made it all the way in record time

my prize so silent and cold

a dead street

with familiar smells

I’ve looked at that window and cried

I’ve looked at that window and felt

destinies, eons, habits, and curses

you up high, in your castle

me down below, in my trenches

I only dropped by to say that you broke me first

that I think you’re responsible

and if anything happens after this

there’s a blame that you’ll carry

like a scar I’ll etch into my skin

over and over

or maybe I just thought I could do

something grand

unexpected, uninhibited, unconditional…

you know what I mean

but it’s hopeless, isn’t it?

trying to be a lightning rod

and it’s over, isn’t it?

as you become a revolving door

and I find out the truth of such matters

you couldn’t be alone if you tried

are you a monster?

no, just a broken man

you know I don’t have the time

to be running so far

for something so disappointing

though it will all be forgiven in the end

transgressions and violence and hurt

because I don’t mind anything anymore

this was always my test to fail

not yours