Sob Stories
treadmill
if I think about sex with you
I run faster than ever before
it’s like Usain Bolt
for girls with sports asthma
I think everybody is afraid
I’m going off the deep end
even though I haven’t even
been in the pool that long
and I would know
because my fingers prune, like,
really fast
they all care
that’s love,
love is not allowing me
to tweet dumb shit
just in case I’m selected
for the presidency, one day
I’ve always been the problem
in that way
but love has been allowing me
to also be the solution
what’s that Lana Del Rey song?
“you’re my cult leader
and I’m your jazz singer”
I can’t really sing
but yeah, you can be the piece of shit
no good
cult leader
because I know you like that
especially when everyone else hates it
the more it’ll cost me, the harder its gets you
and it’ll get you, trust me
fear
i’ve got a sun shaped heart
it’s been on fire
I can’t control it
don’t wanna douse it
you’ve got moon boots
that walk up the side
of the moon
what else would they do?
tell a joke?
do my laundry?
light me up?
hey, listen.
would you ever think about
trading with me, though?
because it’s hurting, again
i hope you find a seat on this train
the surgeon told me it wasn’t possible
to get what i wanted
so should i just
fuck off forever?
my therapist told me about how after a door closes, when you’re waiting for the next to open, that hallway you’re standing in is really terrible
she’s saying I should fuck off forever
I agree with the strategy
that’s why I’m moving the apps around on my phone again
to make room for something more
something to believe in
if I don’t, I could just get sucked in
to all the terrible things I try to forget
like the symptoms of a heart attack
or the feeling of friends
in rooms you aren’t in
ai generated boobs better than mine
when are they going to make a man
with a cock bigger than his?
bigger in an esoteric, unattainable way, I mean
something I can share on the internet
to make him feel bad
about being so bad
I joke about manifestation
and all the things it’s done for me
I cried about masturbation
and all the things it’s done to me
both have merit,
in the pursuit of higher power
an optimized TikTok algorithm
the right amount of calories
both force you down the drain
anyway
we’re all on this train
going a little too fast today
and I’m throwing out buzzwords
because I know you like them
it’s packed and it’s uncomfortable
a lot like this poem
I just hope it ends soon