Spooky Canadian Vengeance

when i was little, my family went to niagara falls. the city of niagara falls is very gimmicky, touristy, and full of shitty slush all over the ground. we went to an arcade, where there was some sort of haunted mansion ride. my step sister and i buckled ourselves into a rickety cart and prepared for liftoff. soon we were traveling down a track, with scary monsters at every turn. it smelled like a fog machine; card board cutouts would pop! up to surprise you. we had those guns they give you for laser tag, so i guess we were supposed to be hitting targets.

tonight in brooklyn a man popped! up from a car to say, “hey beautiful wouldjah give me the tiiiiiiime?”

it was so terrifying, so cartoonish. i could only think of my canadian past.

i pulled the laser tag gun out of its holster. i fired two laser bullets into his brain. i shot him dead center between the eyes. i saw his body fall backward and i saved the world